Taking the fun out of a first chocolate soda
Published: 8/5/2011 1:59 AM
Last Modified: 8/5/2011 4:35 AM
As I was helping him on the equipment, we were confronted by a woman who looked at my grandson and asked, "Where is your mother, honey?" She did not acknowledge my presence. The tone was off-putting. I explained to her who I was. Without looking at me she asked my grandson, "Is he really your grandfather?" He just stared at her. Then she started to interrogate me. I stopped the conversation and told her, "That's enough, get lost."
Upon leaving the park a few minutes later, I walked up to her and said I'd like to speak to her privately. Her tensed body language suggested I was an escaped felon or a poisonous snake. I said something like, "Thank you for caring for the safety of my grandson, but I think you need to develop some better manners and kick up the social skills. You can do better than that."
As I walked to my car I was accosted by a second woman and questioned again. She was joined by a third and fourth who started to hector me. One shouted, "You can't leave the park - we called the police."
I saw where this was going. I immediately went past exasperated and irritated and became instantly angry.
It became clear to me that these women had whipped themselves into a near frenzy within some imaginary parallel universe. Adult conversation was not possible. It was clear I was being harassed and slow-danced until the police arrived. They apparently reported me to the police with no possible evidence other than their collective hyperactive imaginations.
I reluctantly agreed to wait in the park for 10 minutes for the police to arrive. The police arrived and the women provided an incoherent and implausible story - then rapidly disappeared.
The police assessed the situation. We had a quiet, civil and professional conversation. It was resolved in a matter of minutes. We agreed that to re-engage the accusers was to waste the time of the police and me.
I left the park and took my grandson for his chocolate ice cream soda. It wasn't as enjoyable as we would have liked. But I will never forget it and neither will he.
Here's what I want to know. Who the hell deputized these women to harass grandfathers in a public park with no evidence or provocation? How do I take my grandson to a public park in the future? Are there consequences for wildly false accusations, or am I the only one who gets tagged? If my 6-year-old grandson was not with me, how did he get to 41st and Riverside by himself?
I have a message for some of the Tulsa public. You know who you are. Be vigilant if you must, but let's not be maternal vigilantes. Don't let your imaginary demons overload your common sense.
Finally, I fear these women spent the day self-righteously congratulating themselves for "doing the right thing for the children," or worse, "it's better to be safe than sorry."
Sell that nonsense to my grandson who wants to know why the police were questioning him. One more thing: He doesn't want to go to that park anymore. Feel better, ladies?
Michael Lapolla is a longtime Tulsa resident who has recently retired; his grandson lives in Oklahoma City.
Published: 8/5/2011 1:59 AM
Last Modified: 8/5/2011 4:35 AM
July 25th was going to be a good day. I planned to take my 6-year-old grandson to his favorite park at 41st Street and Riverside Drive, then to a lunch counter for his first chocolate ice cream soda. We were both excited. I showered, shaved and dressed in freshly pressed khakis and shirt with a nice Italian leather belt.
We arrived at the park at 11:30 a.m. He played for 45 minutes while I watched. Then he asked me to play with him.As I was helping him on the equipment, we were confronted by a woman who looked at my grandson and asked, "Where is your mother, honey?" She did not acknowledge my presence. The tone was off-putting. I explained to her who I was. Without looking at me she asked my grandson, "Is he really your grandfather?" He just stared at her. Then she started to interrogate me. I stopped the conversation and told her, "That's enough, get lost."
Upon leaving the park a few minutes later, I walked up to her and said I'd like to speak to her privately. Her tensed body language suggested I was an escaped felon or a poisonous snake. I said something like, "Thank you for caring for the safety of my grandson, but I think you need to develop some better manners and kick up the social skills. You can do better than that."
As I walked to my car I was accosted by a second woman and questioned again. She was joined by a third and fourth who started to hector me. One shouted, "You can't leave the park - we called the police."
I saw where this was going. I immediately went past exasperated and irritated and became instantly angry.
It became clear to me that these women had whipped themselves into a near frenzy within some imaginary parallel universe. Adult conversation was not possible. It was clear I was being harassed and slow-danced until the police arrived. They apparently reported me to the police with no possible evidence other than their collective hyperactive imaginations.
I reluctantly agreed to wait in the park for 10 minutes for the police to arrive. The police arrived and the women provided an incoherent and implausible story - then rapidly disappeared.
The police assessed the situation. We had a quiet, civil and professional conversation. It was resolved in a matter of minutes. We agreed that to re-engage the accusers was to waste the time of the police and me.
I left the park and took my grandson for his chocolate ice cream soda. It wasn't as enjoyable as we would have liked. But I will never forget it and neither will he.
Here's what I want to know. Who the hell deputized these women to harass grandfathers in a public park with no evidence or provocation? How do I take my grandson to a public park in the future? Are there consequences for wildly false accusations, or am I the only one who gets tagged? If my 6-year-old grandson was not with me, how did he get to 41st and Riverside by himself?
I have a message for some of the Tulsa public. You know who you are. Be vigilant if you must, but let's not be maternal vigilantes. Don't let your imaginary demons overload your common sense.
Finally, I fear these women spent the day self-righteously congratulating themselves for "doing the right thing for the children," or worse, "it's better to be safe than sorry."
Sell that nonsense to my grandson who wants to know why the police were questioning him. One more thing: He doesn't want to go to that park anymore. Feel better, ladies?
Michael Lapolla is a longtime Tulsa resident who has recently retired; his grandson lives in Oklahoma City.
These women are not actually love the children. They just hate men. They are feminists who consider men as their enemies.
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